Best thing about winter is all the bugs r rotting in hell where they belong
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I have a problem.
In the past year I’ve considered seeking out a therapy at many points. Whether it be for my anxiety or anger issues, I’ve just been considering it for a while now. But tonight has made me realize that I think it’s really a necessity.
My husband is out tonight with two of his male friends from work for one of their birthday. And one of them has a pregnant wife who is there as well. He’s fine and having fun and I know she making sure they don’t get too crazy…but it’s driving me insane.
I don’t know why but I’m laying in bed waiting to go pick him up and I simply feel the anger in my stomach. I’m mad. I’m really fucking pissed the fuck off and I don’t know why. I went out to dinner with them before hand and hung out for then a bit before they went to the bar but when they said that I couldn’t come in because I wasn’t 21, even though I’m with my husband, who I’m DDing for, I got angry. And I have been ever since.
I’m not sure if my anger stems from a semi-hate for drinking, or that I’m just jealous that I can’t spend time with him, or because he loves to go out and drink and do crazy stuff and I resent him for it.
Honestly, I think it’s all of those things but mostly the last one. It has always bothered me that he is that person who always wants to go out and shit but it’s so much more of a fucking issue now that he’s 21.
I want to fucking cry and scream and hurt myself out of anger because I know how unhappy I’m going to be this entire summer because of him being 21. I know on a regular basis I’m going to have to DD and it’s going to infuriate me.
None of this is to say that Aaron is wrong in wanting to go out with friends and drink; he’s legally allowed to drink now and I know he wants to have fun. The issue is that I’m wrong and I know it, but I can’t help the anger that I have from these situations. I’m going to look into seeing a counselor at school this upcoming week because I’m already resentful of him and feel like it will only get worse. This is really going to be a terrible summer and I know this is going to cause white few arguments. I hope I can work on this.
I’m reality, I wish he was happy staying home to watch a movie with me and our dogs. I wish he was that guy, but that’s not who I married and I need to deal.
You have a place in my heart no one else ever could have.
Here’s to strong women. May we know them. May we be them. May we raise them.
Removing toxic people from your life is actually not the difficult part. Not feeling guilty about it is.
(via jsavannah)
Truth.
